


This Is Not What I Ordered

by galacticCannibal22



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Awkward Sexual Situations, Drabble, EriSol - Freeform, Implied Sexual Content, Jewish Sollux, M/M, NSFW, One Shot, Smut, Walking In On Someone, but not really, karkat's pov, this is hilarious, vague sexual content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 18:25:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3619821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galacticCannibal22/pseuds/galacticCannibal22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you just walked in on your roommate fucking your best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is Not What I Ordered

**Author's Note:**

> i dont even know what this is. i had a stupid idea and it was funny to me at like 3 am so i dont if its funny now.
> 
> i have a soft spot for jewish sollux ok
> 
> this is so great im gonna cry

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you just walked in on your roommate fucking your best friend.

It started off as a normal day, you woke up and dragged your ass to class. Eridan didn't have any classes until later that day, so you let him sleep in. You rode your old shitty bike along the campus, dreading what's about to come. You had a three-hour lecture at 10 AM and you were not ready. Not ready to deal with the most boring shit of your life. It also didn't help that the professor hated your guts, and it didn't help that you hated him with the same burning passion. You dragged your feet up the stairs, plopping your butt down in the furthest chair from Professor Slick, and prayed to the god you didn't believe in for strength to make it through this class.

When the class ended you sent a text to Eridan telling him you were picking up coffee and his ass better be ready for it. You rode your bike to the tiny cafe at the edge of the street and walked inside. Dave greeted you with his regular nod and you flipped him off, like usual. You walked to the register and ordered the same thing you do every day, the blackest coffee imaginable for the dark pit that is your soul, along with Eridan's order, a Caramel White Mocha. You grimaced at your roommate's drink, trying to think of a reason why he could drink such a frilly piece of shit. Paying with your credit card because you never carry cash, you headed back to your shared dorm.

Eridan still hadn't text you back, but you're hoping he's awake. That guy gets enough beauty sleep as it is, he can't possibly need more. A car honks at you when you cut him off, but you just give him the finger because you were here first and he needs to get over it. You text Eridan for the billionth time, saying that you're outside the building and he better wake up or you're dumping some cold ass water on his perfect hair. Walking down the the hallway that leads to your dorm, you were expecting the usual. You were expecting to just see Eridan lying on his bed with his computer, or finding him in the bathroom fixing his hair. It was Monday, and Mondays were always the same for you. Shoving the key into the door, you weren't expecting to walk in on your roommate having sex with your best friend.

You just stood there, gripping Eridan's and your coffee in your hands, the key to the dorm dropped onto the floor, and probably the dumbest look on your face possible.  It's like they don't even know you're there because Eridan keeps pounding into Sollux's ass like a motherfucker and holy shit Sollux sounds like a porn star what the fuck. When did this happen. What even is happening. Your life is spiraling out of control. Next thing you know, you're gonna be in a dark alleyway, shooting heroin up in your forearm while listening to '[Lay Me Down](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaMq2nn5ac0)' by Sam Smith. Or Terezi is going to miraculously end up pregnant and holy shit you're gonna be a father you're not ready.  

When they do notice you're there, the look on Eridan's face is priceless. He looks like he just watched a cat give birth and he is unsure if it was beautiful or the most disgusting thing possible. Sollux just squeals and hides his face with the pillow, and oh my god your Jewish friend is fucking another guy. A guy who you thought he hated. You thought they didn't get along, you and countless others have had to pry them apart because they got into another fight and were beating the shit out of each other. Sollux was always telling you how much he wanted to shoot himself in the head when Ampora was around. Eridan was always ready to flick out his knife and have a fucking knife fight. But you were wrong.

Oh so fucking wrong.

Apparently their violence is a way of showing affection or some shit because you just walked in on them having sex. 

You put both coffee's on the floor, pick up the keys to the dorm, and let yourself out without saying a word. 


End file.
